How to Overcome Perfectionism
Many people assume, that perfectionism is a good trait.
Being a hard-working person with high personal standards, aiming at the best result possible is something to be admired for, right? It may sound that way, but in real life, it is not.
People who are perfectionists don’t always do things perfectly, that is simply impossible. Perfectionists strive for unreachable perfection, they are usually highly stressed and self-critical, with an inner voice constantly telling them, they are not good enough. They must work even harder, and do even better.
Although being an ambitious person and working hard to achieve success is not a bad thing at all, but being fixated on perfection and not being able to accept anything less leads to many negative outcomes.
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What Exactly is Perfectionism?
Perfectionism is often defined as a trait that makes people strive for unattainable perfection.
Perfectionists set excessively high standards for themselves trying to reach perfection. They are very self-critical and cannot accept flaws and mistakes. People with perfectionistic traits often base their self-worth on their achievements. If the result isn’t flawless – it’s a failure. They are a failure.
Typically, perfectionists cannot appreciate their work and feel satisfied with the outcome, there is always something, that in their eyes just isn’t perfect.
People can be perfectionists in just one area of their life or in many, usually, it is work or school-related. The latest studies have shown, that more and more young people are subject to perfectionism.
Negative Impact of Perfectionism
Perfectionism can have many negative effects on people’s lives.
Perfectionism is an obstacle, that holds many people back from finishing their projects because they think their work is not good enough, and they must do better. If there is a due date perfectionists may find themselves working late nights cutting down on sleep to perfect every single detail of their work.
If there is no deadline, they might end up in a loop of endless revisions and never actually finish the project. There are always things to improve and do differently.
Quite often, perfectionists don’t even start things. They fear failing so much, that following their logic it is better to not even start than make a mistake in the process and reach an imperfect result. It is a way of avoiding failure and protecting oneself from disappointment.
This kind of mindset leads to procrastination. Putting off the important tasks and prioritizing the easier ones.
Perfectionists tend to feel unhappy with their life. While they are working really hard, their unrealistic standards and expectations don’t meet reality and all that hard work isn’t paying off.
These thoughts lead to physical and mental problems. They may experience sleep and eating disorder, and high blood pressure. They may feel constantly pressured and stressed out.
Surprisingly, perfectionistic behavior stands in the way of being successful. Perfectionists are so caught up in pursuing ideals, they actually achieve less. They often miss a lot off opportunities by avoiding tasks they believe they won’t be able to fulfill perfectly. They also take longer than others to complete the tasks.
What Causes Perfectionism?
Perfectionism can be driven by many factors.
Some of the most common are:
- Fear of failure
- Fear of judgment or disapproval from other people
- Feeling the need to please parents
- Mental health issues, such as obsessive-compulsive disorder
- Low self-esteem.
How to Overcome Perfectionism?
Changing one’s mindset and behavioral patterns is difficult, but the following tips can help you manage your perfectionism.
1. Set Clear Goals
When you start a new project, set a clear and achievable goal for yourself. It will keep you from being all over the place.
For example, if you need to write a college paper, then the goal is to write a college paper and not in-depth research to be nominated for the Pulitzer Prize.
Next, break your goal into measurable tasks (a bullet-pointed list is always a good idea), and don’t add new tasks to it later! Otherwise, you’ll spend hours perfecting your to-do list, instead of actually working on your paper. Also, by adding new tasks you might start looking for additional information and change the whole course of your paper and your end goal.
When the tasks are completed accept the result – it IS good enough. Otherwise, you might end up in a never-ending cycle of revisions. Finished is better than perfect.
2. Track Time
Tracking the time you spend on your tasks will give you a sense of reality.
Plan ahead how much time each task will take, and add a little buffer time. Deadlines will save you from perfecting the font of your paper at 2 in the morning, and searching for 5 additional books on the topic later on.
Time blocking and time tracking apps are very handy.
You could use Google Calendar for time blocking and apps like Paymo, to track the time and actually see how much time you have spent on each task.
3. Allow Yourself to Make Mistakes
Accepting, that a mistake is not the end of the world and it is not a failure is crucial to overcoming perfectionism.
Allow yourself to learn from your mistakes and move on.
4. Focus on the Positives
Perfectionists are fixated on the negative aspects of their work, things they didn’t get quite right, and often ignore or devalue the good parts. Focus on your strenghts and the things you do well.
When you are finished with your project, take the time to acknowledge the strong parts of your work, pat yourself on the back and take credit for your hard work.
This will help improve your self-esteem and confidence.
5. Positive Self-Talk
The inner critic, that keeps telling you, that you are not good enough
Self-criticism leads to self-doubt and questioning your abilities
Supportive self-talk will encourage you
6. Aim to Be a High-Achiever
Unlike perfectionists, high-achievers are not fixated on a flawless performance. They are result-oriented and are not afraid of making mistakes, they learn from them.
High-achievers can take pride in their work and be satisfied with the output. They are more efficient than perfectionists.
